let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
