Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
