I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
