dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
