Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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