This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
