i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
