honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
