Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
