it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
