Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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