You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my poor anus
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
