I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
