I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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