I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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