I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
