Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
