So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
