Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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