There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
