she was so not down for the gang bang
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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