WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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