Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just want to make out with him forever
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
