hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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