he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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