I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
