haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
