Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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