I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
