Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
