FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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