Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
