Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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