i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
His hands were made for my vagina.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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