respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
