it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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