Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
