do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
