At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
