I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
