I accidentally burped into my bong.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
operation harelip BJ is a go
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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