is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize