you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
