it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
