There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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