Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
