I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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