i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
