and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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