I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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