i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
third nipple confirmed
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
