....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
