can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
