Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your penis caused this!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
