If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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