I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
