Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
