sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Still dying that you shit outside
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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