I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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