Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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