There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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