i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
