so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
