I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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