So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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