I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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