can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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