i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just blew my weed a kiss
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
