I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
