well I can't set my house on fire every night
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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