I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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