So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
