Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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