Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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