we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
