Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
